I recently watched a video clip based on the movie/documentary of "Diary of A Tired Black Man". It begins with a black man dating a white woman and his ex-wife and her friends witness their public display of affection. They then make an attempt to attack him. Calling him "weak" because of his choice for a partner/lover. I noticed how he carefully explained that any color or race of a woman who keeps peace in the house and welcomes him with love is his reason behind his choosing. If so, is it true that black women fail to keep the peace in their homes? Do they drive their husbands mad and out of the house with their obsession for a daily fight? Is it possible that a black woman's constant "pettiness" and "nagging" has a reason? Perhaps there is a bit more behind a black woman's ranting and raving.
First, let me address my opinion as to why there is so much animosity of a black woman towards a black man dating a white woman. It is a blow to our ego! That's the vulnerable truth. In the past these women were the wives of slave owners who attempted at breaking us down, who stripped us of our God-given right, who abused us in all shapes and forms. It seems as if dating a white woman today is the newest trend. Black men seem to parade them around as trophies and their most prized possessions. I personally don't have an issue with anyone who chooses to be with someone from any race, ethnic background, or color for important factors such as how the person makes you feel and their great inward qualities. But some black men are choosing these white women because they are white. Some where down the line, black women has become the bottom choice when they used to be held in high regard in a black man's eyes. A black woman in a black man's life was the greatest thing in the world.
What happened to the glorifications of the great qualities in a black woman? What happened to the praises that black men who adored us use to shower us with? Somewhere down the line something was broken. We forget to focus on the great qualities both our black men & women possessed. We forgot to to hold each other in the high esteem our ancestors showed one another. Now black woman are obsessed with glorifying themselves and lacking some of the qualities we proudly possessed. We scream from the top of our lungs how "strong" we are. Are we really? How can we make such a claim when our actions fail to display such characteristics. We fail to let go of the past, and we let it dictate our current perception of things. We fail to adapt to change. Black women, instead of learning from a bad experience, we decide to be a victim forever and generalize all our black men and place them in the same category of the last man who treated us poorly. We as women need to grow a thicker skin! We need to learn to look positively even through our worse experiences. I know it isn't easy and I'm guilty for it as well. But, we must take into account that we often fail to shed a positive light on our black men. The same black men we grow angry and resentful towards because he's tired of our undeserved anger.
Black men, you claim you are good to our black women and you are simply a victim of her past. What happened to you being a MAN? Are you not up for the challenge if and when it presents itself? Aren't you so called "victims" guilty of past discretions (or current)? Own up to your part! You might have grown from your past mistakes, but how many can say that they weren't the result of a bad experience? If you pursue a woman who obviously has a bad outlook on black men due to her bad experiences, why is it such a hassle for you to prove there are good black men not only through words but action. Black men should take responsibility in admitting that predominately you have fallen short from the Kings and Princes our ancestors were. Who were full of self-respect, love, pride, and responsibility. Predominately, what is the representation of black men? Doesn't the world view you in a negative light? Is it really us black women who shed negative light on our brothers?
In conclusion, I believe both black men & black women play a role in the lack of black & black relationships. Ultimately, we must fix the imperfections within us individually first then as a whole. Again, I'm not advocating that anyone shouldn't date outside their race. If you find love wherever it may be, then so be it. But brothers, don't avoid being with our beautiful black sisters because you're so busy accusing her of what you're guilty of. Its possible that a cause for such anger is in the decision making of our black men.
