Sisterly Love: The Oxymoron

"You had an abortion Bitch!" I looked at the text message in my phone and quickly began typing a response with trembling hands. My anger consumed me. Disbelief suffocated me. My head began to spin. All logic flew out the window. A piercing pain shot through my chest.

15 Years Ago....

I can feel the warm cement under my feet as I rush outside barefoot to greet the siblings I never met. The siblings I heard of and spent 9 yrs of my life without. It was the sister that was 5'0 who intrigued me. Something about her sassiness, and the resemblance everyone said me and her had. I attached myself to her, wanting to be like her, to be her. My dream came true, I had an older sister who was all mine! The other two didn't really count lol! The love I had for her was incomparable. She was all mine. After a while, her sassiness became bluntness, her bluntness, became verbal abuse, and her verbal abuse became physical abuse.

I was no pushover. I had a mouth of my own, But she failed to realize although she couldnt break me down physically how much her actions broke my heart, tearing down piece by piece the perfect relationship I thought we would have...forever. It wasn't so. This relationship became a nightmare. I grew resentment. I felt betrayed. How could she have painted a perfect picture in the beginning and cause such an ugly outcome. My mind raced for a solution. Before I knew it, that sisterly bond she was to grow with me..... she had already created it with someone else.

6 Years Ago....

I still love her. "How could you?!" would be the question she would attack everyone with. Giving a pretense of actually caring but in actuality your stories were mere entertainment that intrigues her. When the mood strikes her, her nature is to use anything and everything said in secrecy against you. We tolerate eachother although she constantly would try to tear me down in front of others. I still want the best for her. I still love her. I fell into a situation where I needed her the most. Instead of getting her support, I received her her tongue lashing, her judgmental spew began. My condemnation came from her lips.

1 Year Ago....

Through the years that I've known you. That little nine year old who looked up to you is still inside. Still begging to have her big sister. Still begging to share a bond. An unbreakable bond. That little girl's plea isn't answered. Her cries go unheard. She finally sees some relationships aren't meant to be. She soon realizes that it was all about you. Everything, every decision you've made in the past was first dissected in how it would benefit you. Your job was to protect me. Your job was to defend me. No matter what! Even if I were guilty of the heinous crimes you've accused me of, you should've defended me. You should've spoken to me. Instead you betrayed me. You attacked me with words, you even threatened me. The spirit of haughtiness within you came out. Sad thing is everyone saw it. Everyone was sickened by it. You blamed everything on me. Even your miscarriage.

Present

I still love you. That little girl no longer screams. She remains silent accepting that she has no big sister in you. That little girl realizes she has had plenty of sisters. She has been blessed with sisters all around her. Sisters who have stood by her through thick and thin. Sisters who have accepted me flaws and all. I know what unconditional love is. I had to go through what I went through with you. You had to be the pawn of such hatred. I don't hate you. I do love you still. But my love is numb. Loving you because you're a human being. Loving you because we share the same biological parents.

Sisters aren't determined by DNA. DNA doesn't define a relationship. The foundation does. Growth, wisdom, support, LOVE, unconditional love, is what makes my sisters my sisters. Not DNA. No blood relation can ever determine the foundation a true love relationship will have. I have sisters.....and you're not one of them.